The penultimate episode of As the Trump World Turns, formerly known as the Republican National Convention is in the books and Republicans finally got a chance to meet their Vice Presidential candidate. Mike Pence was the keynote speaker tonight and, he may in fact STILL be speaking to an empty arena. That guy never wanted to quit. But there plenty of other moments worth talking about so let’s dive in.
Let’s all be honest…the highlight of the night was Abby Paskvan’s rendition of the National Anthem. Absolutely amazing performance. That HAS to be a sign of great things to come, right? Nope. But still well worth checking out. Just click here to see it.
The night started with a bunch of nobody’s speaking, another common theme for this convention it seems. But then an ad honoring the anniversary of the moon landing was shown and it really caught my attention. It ended by saying they hoped to make America the rightful leaders in space exploration once again. Considering the fact that the Republican Party isn’t really the “party of science” it’s interesting that they’ve become interested in space exploration once again. An issue that I can fully get behind.
There was another ad shown that I’ll also go ahead and talk about…this one with the Trump children. Well, kind of. You saw Eric Trump yapping about how successful his dad has been. Then Donald Jr. going on and on about how their dad instilled values into them. Ivanka then came out and talked about how great their dad was. But uh, no Tiffany. I mentioned it in last night’s recap too…wonder what’s going through her mind?
Now on to the speakers who (I guess) matter. First up was Scott Walker. In what was quite a weird speech, Walker almost seemed to be conditioning the delegates. Seriously, it looked like a scene from the Manchurian Candidate or something. He would say some generic phrase and then go, “why? Because America deserves better!” He got the crowd involved too. Every 45 seconds or so after making some general statement, he’d ask why and as they were conditioned, the crowd would scream “Because America deserves better!” Pavlov would be so proud if he were alive.
Next up was the guy who is getting the most headlines: Ted Cruz. The guy did the ultimate heel-turn in the most epic way possible. He came out and got the crowd excited and cheering him on. They were hanging on his every (overly-dramatic) word. Then all of a sudden, he tells them to “vote their conscience.” The anxious crowd started chanting for him to “endorse Trump” but he ignored them. He went on talking about all the issues he cared about, essentially laying out his platform for 2020. Then, straight out of Monday Night Raw, Donald Trump shows up in the arena. He comes in through the crowd, although dropping down from the rafters ala WCW’s Sting would have been much more epic. As Trump started in the arena shaking hands with the crowd, Cruz wrapped up his speech and left the stage to a barrage of boos from the crowd after he refused to endorse the Donald.
Next up was Eric Trump. I don’t have to really bother with him because you know what he said. “My dad is great. He’s going to make America great. You should be excited because it’s going to be so great.” He also asked who would be better to bring back our factory jobs than his dad. Apparently he doesn’t realize that his dad actually outsources his manufacturing jobs (like the Trump clothing and tie line) to places like China so…awkward. One last thing to note while Eric was speaking, the big screens behind the stage kept flickering and going black…I’m guessing someone isn’t getting paid tonight.
Finally, it was Mike’s turn. Mike Pence was finally going to show everyone why he was the chosen one to be placed on the ticket with the almighty Trump. And boy did he ever…not. Look, if you follow politics, you already knew who this clown was. He was the guy that all conservatives were pointing to in 2012 to run but his wife wouldn’t let him. He started his speech by saying Trump was very loud and full of charisma and that he was there to apparently balance the ticket out. He said he was a simple man, and he isn’t lying. The guy is as interesting as wet paint. He talked about failed Obama policies and a poor Obama economy. Then he bragged about unemployment being low in his state…however he failed to mention how Obama’s poor policies and poor economy DIRECTLY led to those jobs in his state. Obama’s actions to save the auto industry saved over 150,000 jobs in the state of Indiana. His stimulus package to the state allowed them to invest in infrastructure projects and giving law enforcement new equipment. It’s interesting how these things are easily forgotten. Then again, this is the RNC.
Now, ladies and gentlemen…tomorrow night is the night. We finally get to hear from the man himself. The man, the myth, the legend…the Donald. We get to hear about how he’s going to Make America Great Again! He’s going to go into a lot of great detail and give specific examples of how…just kidding! He’s going to talk about himself and how great he is. It is by far the most important speech of his life so I can’t wait to see how he does. If ever there is a time for Donald Trump to go from bombastic loudmouth moron to respectable presidential candidate, tomorrow is the night. The world will be watching.